If you grew up watching the Transformers cartoons then I don’t have to explain to you who Grimlock is. If not then all you need to know is that he’s a member of the Dinobots who when transformed, resembles one of those giant car eating dinosaur robots from a monster truck event. What does a humongous transforming dinosaur robot have to say about email marketing? Just about anything he damn well wants to.
FakeGrimlock is a “GIANT ROBOT STARTUP DINOSAUR” and a Twitter handle inspired by the original that talks in “Tarzanian” English and pontificates in broken sentences on just about any topic. Since Twitter’s character limit doesn’t lend itself well to good English, FakeGrimlock fits in just fine and he’s amassed almost 10,000 followers on Twitter.
The self-declared awesomeness of FakeGrimlock became apparent to me when we started chatting on Twitter and he assured me repeatedly that he had no intention of eating me – in fact, I was honoured to be included with other humans on his “No Eat Friday” list.
Call me crazy but, when I run into a refugee from a car crushing halftime show, how can I pass up interviewing him about email marketing? Oh, and when the giant robotic dino talks, people listen, because he’s been known to eat those who don’t pay attention.
Is it OK if I call you FG? I mean, I don’t want to be eaten for a dumb mistake! Here are a few questions for an interview on our blog.
CALL ME, GRIMLOCK, FG OK.
ME PROBABLY NOT EAT YOU.
NOW, ME DESTROY PUNY QUESTIONS. WITH ANSWERS!
What can email marketers do to be more awesome and get included in your book of awesome?
HOW MARKETERS BE MORE AWESOME? BE HONEST! TELL SOMEONE ELSE TRUTH ABOUT GREAT THING WITH PASSION IS GOOD FOR WORLD. TELL LIES ABOUT CRAP IS NOT.
HOW GET INCLUDED IN BOOK OF AWESOME? IMPOSSIBLE. THAT BECAUSE IT COLLECTED WORK OF ME, GRIMLOCK, NOT YOU, MARKETERS. WRITE OWN BOOK.
What’s the biggest mistake companies make with email marketing?
WHAT BIGGEST MISTAKE COMPANIES MAKE WITH EMAIL MARKETING? THAT SIMPLE. WHEN ROI FOR PERSON READING IS NOTHING, YOU DOING IT WRONG. BE INTERESTING. BE USEFUL. BE HONEST. OR BE BORING, USELESS LIAR LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
What do you think of spam?
WHAT THINK OF SPAM? DELETE.
If we threatened to eat spammers would that do any good?
ME APPLAUD HORRIBLE, GRUESOME DEATH OF SPAMMERS.
Do you use email marketing?
ME, GRIMLOCK, ONLY SEND EMAIL WHEN KNOW PERSON, AND THEM ASK FOR KNOW ABOUT THING ME EMAILING ABOUT.
FOR INSTANCE, YOU SIGN UP TO KNOW ABOUT BOOK, ME SEND YOU EMAIL WHEN IT READY. NO SEND EMAILS ABOUT OTHER, NON-BOOK THINGS.
Your tweets are considered very creative and fun. Can brands be more fun on social media channels like Twitter and email or should they keep it serious?
ALL BRANDS SHOULD BE MORE FUN. BUT HAVE TO DISCUSS WITH LAWYERS FIRST. THAT PROBLEM WITH HAVE LOTS OF MONEY. THERE ALWAYS SOMEONE READY TO SUE IT FROM YOU.
Do you read your email mostly on a desktop, laptop or smartphone?
What makes you subscribe to an email list?
NOT KNOW, HAVE NEVER DONE IT.
If you could say one thing (and I know you’re good at saying only one thing) to email marketers, what would that be?
BE AWESOME FOR OTHERS. NOT FOR MAKE MONEY. DO FIRST, MONEY PART WORK OUT ON OWN.